Speed Trip

The Apologue

I knew I shouldn’t eat mummy’s pills. I had seen on movies on human TV that amphetamines gave you a real rush. Mummy was on prescription medication from her doctor but one day I saw the bottle where I could knock it off the shelf.

I rattled the shelves until it fell on the floor. I had a quick look around and my family was nowhere to be seen. I chewed the bottle hard and chewed it some more and the lid just sort of popped off.

All the pills spilled out on the floor. I had heard these might be a bit dangerous so I thought I would only ingest half of the bottle. I ate approximately 50 tablets of the 100 that were in the brand new script.

The Remorse

At first things were pretty cool. I went out running around the yard. I could run fast and jump high. The rest of the world slowed down and I was just running and leaping and having so much fun.

But after a few minutes I started to feel a bit sick. The world started going a bit weird. My vision was blurred. My pupils would dilate and constrict. I was having trouble focusing. I was slurring and barking and drooling all at once. I started running and running very fast in circles and I was falling over and face planting. What had I done to myself? I was very worried.

Mummy came home and I could tell from the look on her face that things were serious. I was off to Treendale Pet Medical. Dr Rob took one look at me and admitted me as a critical patient. He was very worried. I was now burning up and my throat was swelling up and I couldn’t breathe. Apparently I overheated and because I was gasping for air my elongated palate and larynx started to swell and close off my airway.

The Reconciliation

I was put onto intravenous fluids and Dr Rob started a propofol Controlled Rate Infusion or CRI. I had my stomach pumped. I had an enema to remove as much toxin from my body as possible and the cool water helped cool down my core temperature which was now over 41 degrees. I had to be intubated because my larynx was now so swollen I couldn’t breathe and I was turning blue.

Dr Rob and nurse Paige sat with me all day taking turns at monitoring my vitals and cooling me down as they flushed the toxins out of my system. It was a long day and a very long night.

The next morning, somehow I had survived a near fatal overdose of amphetamines. I was alive and I sure was glad to see my loving family. I was so grateful to be alive and so happy to see my family. It was great to go home. I survived. I will never eat pills again.